First of May. A little rainy in Stockholm. I have a day off and I have been doing some exercise this evening. When big life changes occurs it is good to have routines. Training has helped me a lot during this time. I miss my mother and I think of her every day. I suppose that is why I do a lot of cooking these days. She actually went to school to learn how to take care of a home. The other day, I learnt that there still are these kind of schools in Germany. I don’t know if they exist in Sweden any longer. This evening I will make some pasties. I remember that I made them once when I was little. Childhood memories returns.
My mother had a graceful and simple funeral. It feels good to remember that very sad day as a beautiful memory. It was very strange the day after her funeral, because I felt very strongly that she needed a candle (lantern) on her grave. So she wouldn’t be alone. A friend of mine told me that it is a tradition to have a candle 40 days after the funeral according to the Orthodox church. To help the spirit of the person who has passed away to find the way to the new home. There is definitely something about the holy spirit. When I told my father this, he sad “No Anna, we don’t belong to the Orthodox church, we are Protestants”.
I am not religous, but since I am grown up in the countryside the church is rather important. I like traditions, but not more than that. I show respect to every kind of religion and I think it is important with traditions. Soon I hope my inspiration to write will return. The latests months have been tough.