Monthly Archives: May 2019

Since it takes time to return to my ordinary life, I do a lot of exercise. I miss my mother and I cannot help that. It is only time that can heal, and also training. Maybe it is only me feeling this way, but these are my feelings facing a loss of a family member. To continue life I focus on exercise. I have started to run a little but my time per kilometer is lousy. So, to raise my motivation I decided to participate in “blodomloppet” in about a month from now. My favourite is Hässelbyloppet but that is usually in October. I know I get a lot of energy from these kind of events, so please join!

It takes time to find harmony again. To think of the past. To think of the future. And to find a balance today here and now. Old memories need to unite with future memories to be. I have a day off and today I am lazy and rest at home. Soon I will go running. Not so fast, but enough so I will increase the pulse and let my heart work. Later this afternoon I will see a friend from Uppsala during university studies. I have always been interested in international relations and that is how we met. We were both active in the international student organizations for pharmacy students.

It is difficult to be happy, but I try to cheer myself up. It is better to be happy than sad. But loosing a family member is very emotional. Sharing this photo, and I hope it will spread some joy this Friday.

First of May. A little rainy in Stockholm. I have a day off and I have been doing some exercise this evening. When big life changes occurs it is good to have routines. Training has helped me a lot during this time. I miss my mother and I think of her every day. I suppose that is why I do a lot of cooking these days. She actually went to school to learn how to take care of a home. The other day, I learnt that there still are these kind of schools in Germany. I don’t know if they exist in Sweden any longer. This evening I will make some pasties. I remember that I made them once when I was little. Childhood memories returns.

My mother had a graceful and simple funeral. It feels good to remember that very sad day as a beautiful memory. It was very strange the day after her funeral, because I felt very strongly that she needed a candle (lantern) on her grave. So she wouldn’t be alone. A friend of mine told me that it is a tradition to have a candle 40 days after the funeral according to the Orthodox church. To help the spirit of the person who has passed away to find the way to the new home. There is definitely something about the holy spirit. When I told my father this, he sad “No Anna, we don’t belong to the Orthodox church, we are Protestants”.

I am not religous, but since I am grown up in the countryside the church is rather important. I like traditions, but not more than that. I show respect to every kind of religion and I think it is important with traditions. Soon I hope my inspiration to write will return. The latests months have been tough.