Author Archives: Anna

Today is definitely no summer time. My parents are at church and I write. I am also preparing mentally for a run. I hear the rain and wind outside my window. There is an expression in Swedish “hundväder”. That is the perfect description of today. It is so bad weather that even the dogs do not want to spend time outside. So I feel like sweet Tippa and Lady today; just to have a lazy relaxing Sunday. I missed my family, that is why I am here. One day I will be alone. I don´t like that.

My urge for writing is varying more or less from day to day. I sometimes have problems with the internet. Today it works slowly. Patience. No internet freedom?

Very nice to be at my parents house. My mother has Alzheimer´s disease (a form of dementia) and that is a brain disease. For me it is sometimes horrible because it is not nice when your mother gets angry at you without a reason. Since I have knowledge about how Alzheimer´s disease can change moods I find that as a good explanation. But of course, that hurts my heart. Painful acceptance of biological cruelty.

I have a confession.  Again . I suffer. I have now lived like a nun for several years. I am waiting for a man. I have understood that when I show that I am not interested in a guy he makes up rumors so no other man will be interested in me. That is terrible. I have talked to friends who have had the same experience. Why is it like this?

Read the newspaper today. Interesting to read about what is going on in Uppsala. Since I write about Uppsala it is nice to remember.

Wish me good luck for my up coming jogging!

All the best.

Anna

Earth hour. One hour. Even thought it is soon April in Sweden it is still rather dark. Tonight there is time change. Summer time.

I honestly feel happy. Light.

There is something rare and unique about Nordic-Scandinavian climate. The contrast. The darkness contra brightness. Darkness in the north part of Sweden wintertime versus total light in summertime. Strange miracle.

Something typical Swedish is that you cannot show that you are happy. I easily get happy for something simple like good weather. Emeticons like are ok. But not in real life. If you show happiness you are screwed. Twice, at least. I do not how this can be changed and I do not understand this. I always feel good if I something good happens and I honestly admit that I almost never feel jealous. If , I get a slight feeling I easily manage that. I really don´t know how. Maybe, I hide, push away that feeling because I don´t like it.  And I think of it a home instead. Jealousy is ugly.

How to manage feelings is really concerning life. Personal development. How to lead yourself (might sound strange) is a challenge. To choose right path in life. Left or right side driving?

Biology is not fair. The laws of biology are sometimes cruel like different incurable diseases. Biology is also very beautiful. I think I tried to catch the beauty of nature in the poem I wrote. A feeling I had.

To be honest I feel very embarrassed to write poems in public because they are so private. I write so nobody will understand but me. However, I have learnt myself not to be embarrassed. I try my very best. To leave comfort zones.

Tranströmer, a very famous poet passed away this week. I feel sad about that. But his poems are vivid and will always be. Poetry is so beautiful. Can make me shed a tear. Or two.

My very best to you.

Anna

Overwhelmed by a dive in salty water;

a taste that never disappears in your eyes.

Crystal clear fractal formations;

make unpredictable chemistry.

Key to life.

Eternally memorized,

like a shadow of your reflection.

Slowly moving; slowly fading; slowly watching a new future horizon.

Where treetops burst,

– from chilly to eternal –

where winter turns into a new season,

where new life is born.

Change.

In theory?

Hi there. I have a day off so I continue to write. Long time ago I wrote a poem. This is what I wrote this morning. I am getting closer to the end of my book. Always difficult since I always try to find perfection.

Try to think that perfection is not always right. But I love the feeling when something is completed. That is the best personal reward I ever can get.

To be honest, I have started to think both in Swedish and in English. I write my diary in English to reach as many as possible. My book will be in Swedish, however. Maybe, and most probably, I will write my next book in English.

Stockholm is beautiful today. A day with a lot of sun. Time to refuel your D-vitamine. Good for your bone and skin.

Wishing you a very pleasant day!

Lots of love from Anna

Tonight I made dinner from a recipe I got from sweet friends. Finally, I made dinner. Long time ago. Fresh. Really cross cooking. Couldn´t find petit calamars so you have to use your fantasy. Tasty dinner. I enjoy cooking a lot.

Bonne soirée,

Anna

Today is a very cold day in Stockholm. Snow. No snow bears, however. Yesterday something weird happened to me. I was going for training and suddenly I changed my mind. For a second I thought that I can continue training anyway because it will make me feel good. But I needed time for reflexion. I am currently changing my life and that is difficult.

New focus in life. I feel both happy and a little sad. I have had a lot of focus on my body and that has generated results that I am happy about. But. That also means that my clothes do not fit anymore. Like the lyrics of “Streets of Philadelphia”. I need to find new clothes. Fun but a lot of work. I like clothes a lot. That is a way of expressing yourself. I like watching trends. Personally, my style is not so trendy

I like France a lot. The way you dress. It is in a way, more allowed to be female compared to Sweden. To wear dresses. To wear skirts and so on.

Dare to be female!

When I was in France I learnt a lot about languages. To taste a word. To have a word and see different pieces of it. To understand that a word may be the same in several languages. At least parts of it. Enclosure is an example of a very interesting word. A lot of history connected to that word. English 1800 century  history, if I remember right. It is also connects church and religion. Things you don´t talk about. Only whisper. Contradictions; like nun and opposite.

Humanism is also a very interesting word.

Nature is beautiful when it comes to how culture has developed. Sometimes I think about how languages have evolved. Languages can make you feel good. At least me. I smile every time I hear French. It is so beautiful.

C’est très jolie.

I like the politeness in France. We need more of that in Sweden. Of course, I have bad days myself, but I always try to be polite. Maybe time is due to un-politeness in todays society. People have a lot of pressure. No time. But should that be an excuse?

I have a lot to do today. Working on my book. I write in Swedish. My native language. I have worked with this book now for several years and it will soon be ready. The biggest challenge has been to find a mode where I can write. To have my own style and language. I try to remind myself that time is precious.

That is my motto today: “time is precious”. Sounds beautiful. Sounds like French.

Wishing you a lovely day,

Anna