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Hi again!

Early Sunday morning. I have had some bad food lately so I have to be very careful. Started this morning with some porridge. Very old breakfast standard in Sweden. This is what I am grown up on, always with fresh Cloudberries from North part of Sweden.

I like the photo of my auntie above. I was very little when she got divorced. I remember her wedding. I was bridesmaid. The wedding was in Tärnaby at a very old wooden church. I was a bit unhappy because my shoes were too small. My feet hurt. But I was kind and held my bouquet with a smile. I wore a blue, very cute, lappish dress. My hair was blond at that time. Don´t remember when my hair changed to brown.

Lappish people are considered as black in Sweden. Swedish government has a very dark history. However, when Carl Bildt was prime minister of Sweden he arranged so Lappish people have a government of their own. A first step. A giant step.

I suppose integration is slow because Lappish culture is considered to be odd. But to me, people with a lot of culture, art and traditions is a sign of intelligence. That means that you have thought. There has been some kind of development. However, I admit, there is a huge contrast between Lappish way of living and for example San Francisco life. But Lappish people live in harmony with nature, and to have this planet live for a long time, nature must be integrated in daily life.

This morning I read about all people trying to cross the Mediterranian to reach Europe. That is a tragedy. It is horrible to watch people so desperate. They must know that they put their own life at risk when crossing the sea.

I am grown up in the countryside with both Lappish (not indian) and Swedish traditions. So, to be honest, my father has done a great work to integrate South and North of Sweden. But there is still a lot of work to be done. When my auntie is in the US she tells that the Lappish people are like the Indians. To make an understandable comparison. However, there are differences. The Lappish people are peaceful and have been subject to Swedish government pressure and torture. Yes. Torture. I don´t think Swedish government never will admit this because of weakness in leadership.

My auntie never got any kids, but she is happy anyway. Her husband was unfaithful so that is why she got divorced. They were a very beautiful couple. They had movie star looks. Like James Bond, in earlier movies, got married to one of his women. After the divorce she worked abroad several years. Liberia, Libanon, Schweiz, Saudi Arabia more or less as a volunteer worker. She got her nurse degree in Stockholm and she studied and lived right where I live. She graduated together with my mum in the church that I see every day. Life is a coincidence. They took care of many patients. One of my aunties patients took all staff for lunch every Sunday at “Riche restaurant” here in Stockholm. I have been told many stories about e.g. Emperors of Ethiopia. But when you work with health care you are not allowed to reveal any information.

My auntie is very active even though she is approaching 80 years. She is happily remarried since 30 years. We sometimes have “woman-to-woman” talks. She was very beautiful when she was young and had many men interested in her. She told me that when a man is rejected he might become very dangerous. They may do everything to hurt you and reduce your chances of finding a man. They make up bad rumors to make you look like a hooker. And, personally, I do not understand why people want to believe in rumors. Probably that makes them feel good. But how can you feel good when you know that another person is not feeling good?

It is like me. I just have a feeling that an ex has put me in a very embarrassing situation on the internet. I have no proof. I just have a feeling. What worse is, is that people responsible for law and order do not make anything for women. Because they like to push you down. I speak a lot about internet freedom and there must be internet freedom. But when law and justice do not fight against sexual harassment, that is evil.

 

I will always hunt evil. That is for sure.

I will hunt them down.

I have never been unfaithful. Ok. Then I suppose you ask me “What is being unfaithful?” That is a difficult question to answer. For me, that is being intimate. And I have never been intimate when I have been in a relationship. That is crucial. And to go further, even though I am living alone, being single, I have not been intimate with anyone. I will wait till I find a man. Meanwhile, I write my book and poetry.

You know that I am adopted and that puts me in a very special situation. I have learnt to take care of myself. I have a big heart so I have always looked after my family. Maybe not so good for myself because that takes valuable time from my life. But what would life be without family? I don´t know much about my biological background. I know that my real father is dead. He fell from a mountain. My biological relatives have tried to stopped the adoption when I was little without thinking of me. I was only a child. That endured for many years. That is why I do not want to have any contact with my biological family.

My parents have always let me have liberty. They have supported me. My father is very conservative. He wants me to get married and have children. I have told them everything about preserving fertility. My father said that he had heard that preserving fertility is more or less standard to get an employment today.

This was very personal writing. But to be open, even though I have very high integrity, is important sometimes. Communication makes the world a better place to live. Don´t you agree?

 

Have a nice Sunday!

Anna

 

///////Yesterdays writing……………..

Long time no see.

It has been a busy day. In a way it is right now very beautiful in Stockholm. The temperature is perfect. Not to much sun. Not so windy. I suppose it is like tasting a little of summer. That gives hope and to be honest, I prefer summer.

I help my family quite a lot. I saw my auntie and she has no children. She showed me some pictures last night and this one is from the UN in Libanon. She has worked in several different countries as a nurse and she has military training. She decided to do that after a divorce. Life may turn out very differently.

All for now. Write more another time.

Bon nuit,

Anna

 

 

 

 

 

 

Between seasons

Morning glory temps my spirit,

with its vast, eternal cuttle.

 

Like a curle,

touching upon heavens bow.

 

Like a whirl,

not knowing where to turn?

 

Astray.

 

To face life with hesitation.

Resist; and carefully caress,

the key to the arch of love.

 

/Anna

 

 

 

I really don´t know why. I would like to write poetry every day, but I cannot. However, today is a good day. Enjoy!

Anna

Hi again! So nice to see you. I am happy. Weather is good. I am just about to make a cake. Easy one. More or less just to have a cosy home. I have stopped to make food at home. Maybe just for a while, just because it is boring to have dinner alone.

I had to tweet yesterday and this morning. Didn´t like that. But internet freedom is important for mankind. Human being rights.

I am now focusing on my life forward. I am single and that is the way it is. I have been subjected to very bad rumors. I don´t like to use this word. But I hate when people lie. I have been single for many years now. That is my life. I am looking for a man to fall in love with. A good man. So I am single and I will stay single. Accept that. Please accept a woman’s right to her own life.

Anna

 

Early. Very early. But a very beautiful morning. Blue sky with a few clouds. It is a very nice time of the year. Several months waiting with beauty. To see how nature is changing slowly into green and colors. Flowers. Do you remember the smell of fresh roses at the end of July? Several months til then. But time passes quickly.

What do I do now in my life? I still focus quite a lot on exercise. My greatest hobby. I have lost several pounds and that is a big change for people who see me. I have noticed that people are not used to see me in this size. To be honest, I am also surprised when I try my clothes.

Why are people afraid of change?

That is a question with many answers. A very interesting question if you speculate from a biological point of view. What is natures meaning of wanting no change? You know what you have, but you feel unsafe when there is something new. Comfort zones.

A lot of people are afraid of change. And, since I am raised in a biological school, I find answers in biology. I always try to find an explanation. However, maybe some questions should´t be answered? Just let them stay as they are. But, somehow, that is human nature. If you face something you don´t understand you need to find answers.

My personal challenge right now is to stay at this weight. I would also like to loose some visceral fat. Ok. I admit. It is good to have some energy saved. Like camels you know. If tuff times are ahead, it is good to have some energy.

Visceral fat is not so good because that is dangerous fat. Very unhealthy.

I have also spent quite a lot of time with family. That means that I haven´t written as much as I would like to. But, it takes time for my book to mature. Quality instead of quantity.

Personal leadership.

This is something I try to focus on every day. To lead myself. This is difficult. Right now I work quite a lot on changing habits. That is connected to what I wrote previously. You know what you have and that is good. And to change something you already are satisfied with is maybe against biology. I don´t know. But your brain is so used to a habit. It is like a high way. Easy to follow. But to change to a different road demands energy. And the body and mind like to save energy.

Ok. Maybe this is difficult to understand. Will try to write more on this difficult topic. Habit.

I close this writing session by showing you something very personal. Think I got this from my aunt. She has served the UN for many years. Or maybe I got it myself when I visited the UN. Personal leadership is good, but sometimes a guide in life is invaluable. I miss a guide in my life but I will choose my guide myself.

Lots of love from Anna

I have had little vacation so this weekend I am going to see my brother. I am in south of Sweden. Rain. Tired. But happy. Just writing a few words. Nice to listen to the rain outside  the window. Will go for training early tomorrow. Looking forward to that.

So, just a few words tonight. I like flying a lot . Wish I could go faster 😉

Like catching moments in life. Above is a sign I saw. Beautiful.

Anna