Author Archives: Anna

Hi there!

Two weeks off. These weeks are dedicated for writing. I wrote the final part today of my book. Now I have to read and read and read. To change language. To see if every part fit together. This has been a huge work. Very interesting. A lot of personal development.

And languages. I have thought a lot about languages. I would like to develop my Swedish. But I have to remember that languages are alive. They live. There is no right and wrong.

Of course, this book has made me think of my own childhood. I saw some photos. I love photos. Especially when you can catch something. Both my auntie and my father have worked for the UN. This photo was taken by my father when i was in Kongo-Kinshasa (1960s) for the UN. I like this photo a lot. I don´t know what it tells me, but there is something.

This writing reminds me of studying. Especially yesterday. Bought some candy and then I started to write. I had a good, so called, flow yesterday. Some days are good writing days and some days are not so good writing days.

Exercise is very good to get your brain into good shape. Soon off for some training. Need some muscle strength.

Have a nice afternoon!

Anna

Memories

Hi there. I am currently at my parents house. My mothers birthday so we had birthday cake and soon some BBQ.

I have my routines here so I went for training. Got tired so I fell asleep in the very first sun this year. Exercise makes you sleepy. I have written a little on my book that is coming closer to an ending. It takes time to get it properly shaped. Of course memories from when you were little appear, and I had a look at some photos. Things change. The school I went to when I was little is no longer in use. The conditions for living in the country side have changed in Sweden.

This photo represents a lot from when I grew up. We always had a lot of projects and played a lot together. I first hesitated to share this with you, but enjoy!

Anna

Labour Day

Hi!

A day off. Lovely. And I am single. Good. Even though I am single I have chocolate. Just because I cannot live without chocolate. Female instinct most probably.

I told you previously that I do not like when people I don´t know are to close to me. I have this integrity that I am born with. I cannot help that and I hope that is respected. Respect for yourself and for other people is very important. That is a way to preserve piece.

However, sometimes I ask myself, why don´t people live in peace and harmony? Why do people want to fight? Will it always be that way?

I have always tried to find explanations within biology. I listened to a lecture to Professor Arvid Carlsson and he talked about human reptile brain. My interpretation is that you react without thinking. Without thinking about consequences. A so called “fight and flight” response is activated. Maybe fear is one of the most dangerous feelings that exists.

Is fear a human feeling?

I am soon off for exercise. Just had some breakfast with Earl grey the. Read the news about labours day in Sweden. Will be interesting to see what the demonstrations will concern. I don´t like to live in Sweden because there is no liberty even though Sweden is one of the best countries in the world. Of course you have to follow rules. But I don´t like to be forced to think as a crowd. That is very dangerous. Really dangerous. I believe in every persons capability of managing an own life. And I am very sad to admit that the concept “det svenska folkhemmet” is the only accepted way of life. Diversity is not allow. I feel I can write this because I am a worker myself.

I have had experience with one of the unions in Sweden. That was terrible. I thought I was going to be helped by labours own organisation. Instead the union collaborated with the company I worked for. I overheard their discussions and I could´t believe my ears. They did not follow law and rules. They broke rules. Many rules. Not so serious. Especially if you are representing organisations.

So my advice to you. On labours day. Have a membership in unions but don´t expect to get any serious help because they collaborate with the company where you are employed. Consider it as an insurance in case you get unemployed. Nothing else. I am very sad to tell you this, but what is better to talk about on labours day?

 

My very best to you,

Anna

A few words late at night

Hi there. How are you? It feels somehow good to write in English. You know that I am writing on my book that is in Swedish. It has taken a lot of time, yes, years actually, to find a language that I am comfortable with. I sometimes reflect and feel that it might be too simple. But, a nice colleague helped me to explain. And that is true. Swedish do not have as many words as English do. English language has a diversity of words to express feelings & emotions.

Swedish, on the other hand, is in a way more straight forward. When I went to high school I was lucky to have an English teacher interested in England and its culture. Remember we watched “last night of the proms”.

Languages are very interesting. There is no right and wrong. There might be. But to me. A language is always developing. Something completely wrong can be very beautiful in my ears. Almost poetry.

Someone asked me if I have always liked to write. The truth is no. I have been very stuck to grammar and rules, but now I try to, still, follow the rules, but sometimes make my own rules. That is very creating and stimulating.

I am single. Being single woman can be very difficult. I have a so called, personal circle. Maybe high integrity. I do not want people I don´t know come to close. That is so rude. People don´t know how to behave. What is your comment?

Another thing that bothers me is that there is almost no politeness. I like when a man opens the door. I like that. A lot of people forget to say thank you. Have a nice day etc. I feel like giving up. What do you think? Don´t you think that life in general would become better if people were more polite and showed respect to integrity?

Just a few words from me tonight. I am tired now. Have worked with poems tonight.

And I will reveal something. A month ago I was afraid of people reading my book. Now I have completely changed. I would like everybody to read so I can have comments and discussions.

I met people from North part of Sweden today. From Lycksele where I am born. A part of my book takes place in North of Sweden. Rather close to Lycksele.

Ok, all for now. And all the best to you!

Anna

Hi!

Hi again!

Early Sunday morning. I have had some bad food lately so I have to be very careful. Started this morning with some porridge. Very old breakfast standard in Sweden. This is what I am grown up on, always with fresh Cloudberries from North part of Sweden.

I like the photo of my auntie above. I was very little when she got divorced. I remember her wedding. I was bridesmaid. The wedding was in Tärnaby at a very old wooden church. I was a bit unhappy because my shoes were too small. My feet hurt. But I was kind and held my bouquet with a smile. I wore a blue, very cute, lappish dress. My hair was blond at that time. Don´t remember when my hair changed to brown.

Lappish people are considered as black in Sweden. Swedish government has a very dark history. However, when Carl Bildt was prime minister of Sweden he arranged so Lappish people have a government of their own. A first step. A giant step.

I suppose integration is slow because Lappish culture is considered to be odd. But to me, people with a lot of culture, art and traditions is a sign of intelligence. That means that you have thought. There has been some kind of development. However, I admit, there is a huge contrast between Lappish way of living and for example San Francisco life. But Lappish people live in harmony with nature, and to have this planet live for a long time, nature must be integrated in daily life.

This morning I read about all people trying to cross the Mediterranian to reach Europe. That is a tragedy. It is horrible to watch people so desperate. They must know that they put their own life at risk when crossing the sea.

I am grown up in the countryside with both Lappish (not indian) and Swedish traditions. So, to be honest, my father has done a great work to integrate South and North of Sweden. But there is still a lot of work to be done. When my auntie is in the US she tells that the Lappish people are like the Indians. To make an understandable comparison. However, there are differences. The Lappish people are peaceful and have been subject to Swedish government pressure and torture. Yes. Torture. I don´t think Swedish government never will admit this because of weakness in leadership.

My auntie never got any kids, but she is happy anyway. Her husband was unfaithful so that is why she got divorced. They were a very beautiful couple. They had movie star looks. Like James Bond, in earlier movies, got married to one of his women. After the divorce she worked abroad several years. Liberia, Libanon, Schweiz, Saudi Arabia more or less as a volunteer worker. She got her nurse degree in Stockholm and she studied and lived right where I live. She graduated together with my mum in the church that I see every day. Life is a coincidence. They took care of many patients. One of my aunties patients took all staff for lunch every Sunday at “Riche restaurant” here in Stockholm. I have been told many stories about e.g. Emperors of Ethiopia. But when you work with health care you are not allowed to reveal any information.

My auntie is very active even though she is approaching 80 years. She is happily remarried since 30 years. We sometimes have “woman-to-woman” talks. She was very beautiful when she was young and had many men interested in her. She told me that when a man is rejected he might become very dangerous. They may do everything to hurt you and reduce your chances of finding a man. They make up bad rumors to make you look like a hooker. And, personally, I do not understand why people want to believe in rumors. Probably that makes them feel good. But how can you feel good when you know that another person is not feeling good?

It is like me. I just have a feeling that an ex has put me in a very embarrassing situation on the internet. I have no proof. I just have a feeling. What worse is, is that people responsible for law and order do not make anything for women. Because they like to push you down. I speak a lot about internet freedom and there must be internet freedom. But when law and justice do not fight against sexual harassment, that is evil.

 

I will always hunt evil. That is for sure.

I will hunt them down.

I have never been unfaithful. Ok. Then I suppose you ask me “What is being unfaithful?” That is a difficult question to answer. For me, that is being intimate. And I have never been intimate when I have been in a relationship. That is crucial. And to go further, even though I am living alone, being single, I have not been intimate with anyone. I will wait till I find a man. Meanwhile, I write my book and poetry.

You know that I am adopted and that puts me in a very special situation. I have learnt to take care of myself. I have a big heart so I have always looked after my family. Maybe not so good for myself because that takes valuable time from my life. But what would life be without family? I don´t know much about my biological background. I know that my real father is dead. He fell from a mountain. My biological relatives have tried to stopped the adoption when I was little without thinking of me. I was only a child. That endured for many years. That is why I do not want to have any contact with my biological family.

My parents have always let me have liberty. They have supported me. My father is very conservative. He wants me to get married and have children. I have told them everything about preserving fertility. My father said that he had heard that preserving fertility is more or less standard to get an employment today.

This was very personal writing. But to be open, even though I have very high integrity, is important sometimes. Communication makes the world a better place to live. Don´t you agree?

 

Have a nice Sunday!

Anna

 

///////Yesterdays writing……………..

Long time no see.

It has been a busy day. In a way it is right now very beautiful in Stockholm. The temperature is perfect. Not to much sun. Not so windy. I suppose it is like tasting a little of summer. That gives hope and to be honest, I prefer summer.

I help my family quite a lot. I saw my auntie and she has no children. She showed me some pictures last night and this one is from the UN in Libanon. She has worked in several different countries as a nurse and she has military training. She decided to do that after a divorce. Life may turn out very differently.

All for now. Write more another time.

Bon nuit,

Anna