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Right now.

I am in Uppsala waiting for train departure to Stockholm. Traveling with SL as usual. Rainy and gray day. I have stayed with my parents during the weekend. It has been so nice to take Lady for a walk. Blue sky and cold weather. For every step you take you hear the snow under your feet. December is here. Have you ever noticed what fun it is to see dogs meeting snow? At least the very first time. We also went to the cemetery to give light to some candles. Important to have in mind that life is fragile. I remind myself.

I have also watched slalom and Cross country skiing from St Morris. Charlotte Kalla shows very good skiing. Norway was very strong. Since I skied quite a lot during my adolescence, I like watching championships.

My mother has Alzheimer’s disease, and as you know, this is a rather common disease, an it is a disease that affects family a lot. I would like that my parents can live in our home as long as possible. That is most human. I joined a community that informs families about this complex disease and this fund also support research. Read in the local newspaper this morning that research is making progress.

Being big sister means a lot of responsibility.

I also have to take care of my self. I always try to act as a stewardess like when they inform about flight safety. First you have to help your self, then you can help children and people around you.

So, concerning myself. I have got double messages regarding cancer or not. Tests can be false positive or false negative. Since I am educated in this field, I know that this can be the results. However it is very rare, most methods are reliably and it depends on what method you use. That is why you need to validate a method to find its accuracy.

I saw Marie Fredriksson, half of Roxette, on TV. From what I can see I understand she has suffered during a lot of years due to a cancer diagnosis.

I know exactly how she feels to have cancer. And I know how it feels to hear that you don’t have cancer. It takes time to understand.

People are different. Some get happy directly after a such a relief. Some people, like me, needs time to reflect and let the information slowly reach the conciosness. People are different, please understand, and try to slowly accept that.

Pscycoimmuniology is a very interesting new field of research, and knowledge is difficult to prove. In brief, it is you attitude affecting how you feel. Saw they have started a research group in Lund. My attitude today is to believe that I am perfectly well.

I know that I need to loose weight because that is for sure that it decreases quality of well being. Since I soon turn 40, I know that the risk for health problems is increasing. But if I start to think “beach 2014” I have a realistic goal.

I am very happy if you leave some comments. What is you life philosophy? This is a site for freedom of speech. What you should have in mind is that it is very important to have a polite and respectful tone when you make comments. Then you will get nice answers back and a discussion, rather than a fight, can be held. Let’s remember politeness.

Have a wonderful Sunday,

Anna

Hello friends

I am staying up quite late tonight. Soon going to sleep. I told you previously that I am diagnosed with cancer. Tomorrow I will go to the doctor for a check up.

I have learnt to live with this. That is why I try to enjoy all moments of my life. I will make the best out of my life. I do not have any suicidal thoughts, maybe you thought of that Vanessa.

Sweet dreams

Anna

Some reflections before a new week begins

This weekend has been very nice and quite intense. Last time I wrote about how important it is to have a good sparetime. Art is one of my interests as I mentioned. And another interest is to travel. When it was discovered that I have cell changes eleven years ago I didn´t know what to do. And I still don´t know how to live my life. I will never know, I think.

I went on a journey to Cuba. Since I always has been interested in politics, Cuba was a very interesting destination. At that time, Sweden had sold some of governmental pharmacies. Previously owned by the “Staten”. To the best of my knowledge, there are only governmentally owned pharmacies in Sweden, Cuba and North Korea. Sweden has not yet fully let loose all pharmacies. In the aspect of freedom, and freedom of the people I think this is one of the questions that should be highly prioritized. Do we want to live in similar conditions?

I can tell a lot about my journey to Cuba. I don´t really know how I dared to travel alone, but I did. By coincidence I met a very nice couple who told me about “Buena vista social club”. I went to their concert and I met these friends. We danced to the music for a few hours and had very fun together. They were from Chile and Argentina. Teachers on a conference. I don´t know their names, but maybe someone will recognize and get in contact with me.

All for tonight.

Anna

Sparetime

Life is not only work. That is important to remember. I have always loved to do sports. Since I am getting older, I have to slow down, but I do enjoy exercise. I have written some on Facebook previously and there you can see that I am very found of art. This autumn I visited a very skilled painter, Axel Ahlsén, in Uppsala. The very first time I saw his paintings was in Heby when I waited for the bus. It was by coincidence I saw his exibition. I was so impressed. I couldn´t believe my eyes.

Please, enjoy these photos.

Anna

 

A big challenge for mankind – cancer.

Since I am at home today, I challenge myself with some theoretical science. To my opinion, cancer is one of the diseases that needs attention and focus. Since I don´t know much about cancer I can only speculate. And remember, I am not a clinician, so these are just my personal thoughts. And I don´t know the literature.

First cancer needs to be defined, what is it? Uncontrolled cell division that spreads in the body which finally leads to “organ svikt” and death. How can this cell division be stopped? Why do the cells start to divide so rapidly? What is the biological sense in that? Is it a coincidence or is it a mechanism that is meant to exist?

I would start by studying the normal cell dividing process. Are the cell division processes different in different types of organs?

I believe that cancer can be studied in cell cultures. At a first stage. Then I would put something in the cells that I know cause cancer (t ex den radioaktiva isotopen polonium). I would try to find a biological marker that reflects cancer.

Of course, in vivo studies are needed. Here, the immune system plays a major role. Maybe it is that the immunesystem is weak and the allows the cancer to “take over”.

Will write more later.

Take care,

Anna

 

Did you know that my origin is from Lapland?

This weekend has been very dramatic in various aspects. I was looking forward a relaxing weekend a lot because it is “första advent”. However, I had a bad Chinese take away dinner, so I fell ill. Same happened two weeks ago when I had a pizza. I felt that I was about to pass away so I actually called my brother who has autism, and parents to, more or less, say goodbye. But, to your surprise, I am staying alive. Yesterday, my parents went to see me in Stockholm and we talked a lot about what happened.

Of course, this made me think a lot. Especially about my origin and where I would like to be berried. Horrible thought, but so true.

I havn´t thought so much about my origin. I know that my real father is dead. My real mother lives in Lapland. It might sound strange, but I have chosen to not to stay in contact with my “DNA family”. I am not ready for that. I am busy with my parents and brother. And I am busy trying to make my own life.

I am not sure but I think I am a quarter Swedish. Whatever Swedish is. I think I come from Norway, Sweden, Finland and Russia. At least, it sounds exotic.

It is not so nice to say “lapp” to a same. It is pejorative. It is not polite at all. And it hurts a lot. But, of course, I am too sensitive.

It is getting late so I will continue to write later.

Take care,

/anna