Pascha. Words are fascinating. To find the origins of words. My life is currently a little calmer due to the mourning of my mother. Therefore, I don’t spend much time thinking of my writing. It is easter time now and it has been a rather calm day. I am working this weekend, so this evening I am resting at home, and thinking a little of the past. I have followed the news in Paris, and I found the photo below when browsing my old photos. I thought of a previous journey I made, to Cuba. My Spanish was/is lousy, but I met a lot of people that I talked to. I remember I had to wait for a bus during a whole day in a little village in the countryside. I didn’t have much to do so I strolled around, and by coincidence I found a family who had a coffee shop. It was time for a stop so I stayed there and had an espresso. After about 15 minutes, they showed me a little puppy. The puppy ran a lot and they chased it. It got tired, and the woman in the family lifted the puppy and asked me to hold it. It was so tiny and cute. We could not talk, but I saw that they smiled, so I smiled as well.

When I returned to Sweden, my family found “Lady” (jack russell terrier) to my mother. Maybe it is not that scientific, but it has been shown that dogs help to hamper the development of memory diseases. She has helped a lot, a lot, and she really is a family member. With a great personality. My father is very sad, and I will see if I will by him a dachshund puppy. His father had a dachshund. It is getting warmer, and spring has arrived, I share this photo with you from my private photo album. A taste of spring.

Yesterday, I learnt that there is a major fire in Notre-Dame. It was undergoing a massive renovation. Since I have lived in France, and visited Paris several times, I pay a lot of attention to what happens in France. I follow Le Figaro, and I can see that Le President Emmanuel Macron is very busy. He says that they will rebuild Notre-Dame within five years. Centuries of history is destroyed. Construction of Notre Dame began in 1163 during the reign of King Louis VII and was completed in 1345. It is a symbol for Christianity. Maybe Macron says “C’est une crise”. However, I am sure they will make a beautiful reconstruction. France has suffered several wars, and also a revolution, but it has always been rebuilt. It is almost a tradition among French presidents to build something so they will be remembered. Perhaps, Emmanuel Macron can make a contribution to something beautiful to future generations. I hope so.

Last time I was in Paris was in 2016. I remember that the weather and temperature was perfect, and that I walked a lot. I found this photo from that weekend. Always a lot of tourists visiting. Beautiful Paris.

It takes time to understand that my mother no longer is present. My book that I have written has helped me to be prepared to life happenings like this. What occurs after death. There are so many theories and believes. Some people believe that when a person dies, life is over for good. There is nothing. But what cannot be erased are the memories after a person has passed away. In this case, a kind of a contradiction. I often feel like doing things when something is emotional. If you feel the same, you can make a donation to Alzheimer Sverige since my mother suffered from a memory disease (PlusGiro 13 74 80-0).

This Friday evening I went to church. It was a week ago since my mother died and it was a beautiful, peaceful Friday evening. That evening in church was devoted to the memory of Avicii. I devoted that Friday to the memory of my mother. She liked music and her favourite musician was Jerry Williams. Music helps me a lot and has always been a great part of my life. It makes me happy. This evening I also prepared myself to go to my mothers funeral. I don’t know what is best. In some countries the dead person is buried within 24 hours, in other countries within a week, and here in Sweden it often takes a month.

After listening and watching some music made by Avicii, I interpret him as a very skilled musician. I like his music and I think he must have been a very sensitive and caring person. Sing-along seems to be popular even in church, so the evening ended by everybody singing “Hey brother”. I share this song with you.

The loss of a family member is one of the most difficult times in life to face and deal with. It is emotionally draining and it takes a lot of strength to move on in life. It is not easy to accept, but death is part of life. These last weeks have been tough. The feelings I am experiencing are new, and it is difficult to put words on them. I continue to do a lot of training since that helps me in this mourning process. This evening I did some swimming and that helps me to relax. Life continues somehow. I feel very sorry for my father since he is sad that he has lost his wife. They have been married so many years. We will make my mothers funeral a memorable moment.

This Friday morning my dear mother Elsa passed away. She became 81 years old and she has suffered from a memory disease during some time. However, she remembered my name til she died. Some people become aggressive and don’t remember anything, so I was lucky. It is stressful for my family right now, but somehow, we will continue our lives. My mother was strong and she always wanted to move on in life. She cared a lot and devoted her life to me and my brother. Of course, I think of when I grew up, and my strongest childhood memories are those in the kitchen. When we made cakes, dinners etc at various occasions.

I was lucky that I could say goodbye to her and she kissed my cheeks. That was a beautiful moment that I will keep throughout life. In the USA there is something called “waving”. I don’t feel comfortable with that, unfortunately, but that has to do with culture and traditions. What you are grown up with. I had to have some time of my own first, but now it is official. My dearest mother Elsa has left this life for another life.

It is a sunny Sunday in Stockholm. I am staying at home doing things that need to be done. These little things, like planning my week. I don’t have time to write here every day, therefore I do some mini blogging on Instagram now and then. A picture says more than a thousand words. Maybe that is not true, but I like photography. However, today I write some here.

These two weeks I have been doing quite a lot of exercise, and I have also tried new sports. I have had lessons in tennis and swimming because I need to do something different. It is good for the body to do various sports. So this week I am planning to practice my new swimming technique that I have learnt. I don’t like to wear a swim cap, but I have to, and also to wear swim glasses since there is too much chlorine in the water. I am really looking forward to do better swimming. I hope there will be a possibility to dive.

Today we have summertime, and it actually is a little warmer and no snow in Stockholm. Therefore I could start my running this week. Other muscles are active than usually, and that means that I am not in perfect shape for running. Slow running. Muscle pain today, so an additional reason to stay at home. Last summer I did 10 km on 60 minutes. That is my goal this summer as well. Not 70 minutes like yesterday. But my goal is not to run fast, but to enjoy being outdoors, have fresh air, sunshine and let the heart beat. To have pulse.