Lots of exercise tonight. Bodycombat and body pump.  Dark and also rather chilly, almost like the weather in Göteborg with humid air.  However, no salt in the air as you can feel in Göteborg. Tonight I thought of all years I wasted on a bad relationship. That is why I am single.  I have learnt to be careful. Life experience.

Don´t have so much to say tonight. Just happy that I am in good shape. I am addicted to work out.

Cheers,

Anna

I don´t know what is going on, but my auntie (extra mum) has thought me how to watch out for dangerous people. People who want to do harm and noting else. She has worked for the UN and she has thought me some about how to be careful. With regard to circumstances (what has happened in France and migration) you have to watch out.

Sometimes I can feel sorry that I am not a man and gay. Life would have been easier. Being woman, and especially single, seem to be provocative in some way that I don´t understand.  I am single because life has not been kind to me. It has taken years to recover from what happened at AstraZeneca. First to recover, then realize that I might not be able to have children and then accept the fact that people don´t understand that I need time to recover from bad peoples behavior. Stolen identity is exactly what has happened to me. I cannot move because that will not change anything. I have to continue with my life. Nobody can ever force me to get married and have children. Life experience has learnt me that people are mean. I hope I will find true love one day. Love is one of the great mysteries in life. I am trying to explain love in my book.

I just don´t like that people mind about my private life. Mind your own business and get your own life.  Politically I am neutral. I just want people to be happy and I try to spread as much happiness as possible. I think I always have tried to spread happiness. However, sometimes I need to put my foot down.

I think I have contributed a lot with many ideas to improve the world. I have chosen not to be an active researcher, rather to have theoretical pharmacology ongoing. If you don´t have any ideas, no research. Moreover, I have chosen to be open with my ideas since I will not work practically with them. I will become an author instead; and that takes a lot of time! I would like to stress that this research program can only be judged if you have at least a PhD. Research is a world that cannot be explained with words. You have to be there to understand. So, I think that I am doing a good job, sharing my ideas. No patent claims. New drugs are needed in pharmacies.

Anna

It has been, I must admit, a strange day. My thoughts have been in Paris. I know Paris very well. I have walked there alone and also with people I know. It is such a beautiful town. With so much history and culture. People from all over the world. New buildings meeting old architecture. I remember that every French President wants to have a monument or something built. I think it was François Mitterrand who made the pyramid at Louvren. That is beautiful. New, meeting old ideas.

A long time ago I wrote that Sweden has been a country in peace for over 200 years. Swedish people don´t know how it is to loose people in war. I remember when I was in France that it was very important to honor soldiers that have lost their lives during war. Today I missed somewhere to put a flower. Maybe I should find the French embassy. I give a platonic flower. When really bad things happen, at least I feel I would like to do something.

I will try to write a poem in French. Not tonight but soon I hope.

Je vous embrasse,
Anna

La France. Bien sûr, je pense à ce que c’est passé à Paris aujourd’hui. Terrible.

I would like to continue to write in French but it is not so easy. I have problems with hackers making my computer difficult to work with. I followed the news on tv this afternoon, and I needed to clear my mind so I went for a walk with my best friend. I tried to find something, but I only found the photo below during walk. And also some photos of sweetest. You may think that I don´t like Tippa but I like her a lot. She is just more of a hunting dog. She barks and guards. Protects her yards. Lady hunts birds. They have different personalities.

I needed something to do so I made some lussebullar to cher up this dark Sathurday. Saffron is a wonderful spice. Long time ago I made soup out of saffron. Bouillabaisse.

Alors, je vous souhaite une bonne soirée et je pense aux familles qui ont beaucoup perdu ce weekend.

Anna

Yes, I would like to write every day. Today is not a day when I would like to write. But, I should at least have something to say. Yes, I have. Today has been very focused on all refugees in south of Sweden. Human destiny. I would like to help but don´t know how. Feels like the problem should be helped at place. Easier to say than practise. How can you support?

Anna

This has never happened, that I write again the same evening. There are very few readers, and it feels a bit strange, to be honest, to write when I don´t know who reads this. However, this is my diary and I write what I feel and share my inner thoughts about life.

I thought about love tonight. I have always been very diplomatic in my life, but after life experience, I have learnt that hurts myself a lot. Being in a relationship for many years with no true love will not do any good for me. That is why I have stayed single for many years. Not a single date. Strange? Yes. I think so. But this is my life. And I will never let a man say what I should do. Never. Ever. That is for sure. “Bränt barn skyr elden” is a common Swedish expression illustrating what I mean.

I have to be very clear, because people don´t understand. Or rather, men don´t understand.
Wishing you a pleasant, and not so tough weekend!

Anna

Dark. Not that cold. Middle of November. Single. And I will stay single till I find love. I   don´t understand why people cannot understand why I want to find love. True love that I never have had. I have met so many, more or less, sadistic people who are, per definition, mean. Human nature is difficult to understand. I will continue to fight for freedom. Like in Burma.

I don´t have any true friends anymore. A friend is someone you trust. Somebody you can rely on. This is what is important in life, and I have chosen to be careful; because friends can be mean. I know. Catfights. That is why I prefer dogs.

Yesterday was important. To the best of my knowledge, the 1 world war ended. A peace treat was signed 11th of November at 11 o´clock. History is interesting. When I studied at high school I remember that I believed in everything that was written. Later, after more studies, I have learnt that you must always read things with open eyes. What is true and what is false depends on how you interpret. It also depends on your own mood and other circumstances. Very interesting.

Tonight I spend time washing. Went to training early this morning. Always difficult at that time of the day but it makes your mind clear. Feels terrible that people want to stop me from writing.

Anna